Joshua thinks to himself, "I've got to hold on tight, got to rid myself of this fright." His fright was dual in nature. Does he fight against his own fear of lonliness and maintain the companionship of the boys, thus allowing the poor defensless bag of pudge to be his sacrifcial lamb in aversion of a loney life. Or does he feel the warmth of a small, still glowing but waning ember deep in his soul that was once the roaring fire of pure child-like spiritual benevolence. Surely he could be the turncoat of the herd and defend the fat one; but only if he is ready to risk lonliness and possibly become one of the tormented.

Of course, there is risk of torment in both realms. However, lack of courage brings on latent torment(the torment of years gone past and not making a stand on one's own), and possesion of courage meets torment head-on, suffering, but never succumbing.

thoughts by
Bob

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